Isn’t it strange?

So today, I started waking up at an hour that most would consider suicidal, and going to gym and working out for nearly 2 hours, which many would say is even more suicidal (how something can be more suicidal is beyond me, but whatev…). 

As I was working out, I was thinking about all the days that I have started a new workout regiment, only to quit it a few days later.  Sure there were various elements at fault (my nice comfy warm bed in the dark little nook in my room, which I have affectionately named “The Womb”), but even then, there were times when I dragged myself kicking and screaming into the cold morning air to do whatever shenanigans I came up with on the drive to the gym. 

With that, I realized that during those times, I had a motivation.  A goal to shoot for.  I never really workout because it’s fun (despite what I may have said in the past… not to say there wasn’t a time when I would workout for fun, but during that time, the options were a) working out or b) homework… which do you think I picked? HA!).  I workout because I love the feeling after a long workout.  And yeah, I do have a certain level of pride knowing that I did more in my workout than most people do during a week or even a month of “working out”.  But if that were enough to fuel me to exercise, I would never quit, and I’d prolly push myself to injury or worse.  So therefore, this cannot be the main motivation to my desire to workout.

So what’s my motivation for driving myself to the point of exhaustion early in the morning?  There are several factors, that I’ve come to again, accept.  It’s not like I forgot them, or had some moment of great enlightenment where the heavens parted, angels sang, and I understood why I must workout.  I woldn’t necessarily say that I workout because it’s the smart thing to do or the healthy thing to do.  While huge benefits, I think that they are mere perks.  And while I would much rather stay in bed, or not be sore from a workout, I know that after the workouts, I will feel better, not just physically but mentally.  Stress goes away.  Things that would make me pull my hair out, after a workout, just get a shrug and slip from my thoughts. 

When I workout, I’m able to live better.  I’m able to make wiser and better decisions about any situation that I may encounter.  My relationships with friends and family go much better.  I laugh more, I learn more, and in general, life seems to draw more into focus.  In some ways, I’d almost say that for me, exercise is a way for me and God to hang out.  While I’m doing whatever, I’m processing and thinking about what’s going on in my life and I really feel God there with me, giving me insight and understanding.  It’s in those moments when I’m pushing hard, over that last distance to the end, that I really come face to face with the person I am.  It’s in that moment, when I come so close to a sort of “absolute reality”, that I benefit best from my workout.  All the other cares and worries in the world fade away.  All the things that seem important become actually quite trivial and unimportant.  It’s like the clouds part, and revelation comes. 

So what I guess I am trying to say in that above ramble, is that when I workout, all of the junk around me fades away, and the truth of life and whatever situation I’m in becomes that much clearer.  That is ultimately my main motivation; getting to that place where I can actually think clearly, and not be distracted by the things around me, nor the noises that may be swirling through my head.